Monday, September 8, 2014

Mad Rant About How People Make Decisions

What is WRONG with people? How come most decisions or opinions people hold are based on what THEY want, what's good for them no matter how many people it hurts, etc.? Just because You like something, if you know it hurts most people, and the outcome of it existing is mostly all bad, but it's good for you or you enjoy it - what then it's good? WHAT? No. If it does more harm than good, then it's BAD, and you should relinquish the right TO it. OMG this world is not about just your self and what you want! Isn't that what you'll tell you kids too? So live by that same principle. What's bad and hurts people isn't ok just because you want it. Maybe practice wanting something else. Ugh. The moralistic line and determining factor shouldn't be it's right because I like it.
That's a lie. That is not a healthy life view. Re-evaluate. P.S. People have a very distinct ability to lie to oneself and to create whatever micro-false-version of truth they want to believe to justify their actions. Search for the answer you want to find and you'll find it. My suggestion is to search for ALL of the answers and weigh them out. Step outside the circle and weigh the benefit and cost at a global level. Make a decision. The best one is often not the one we want. But it's the best. Sacrifice = a healthier life. Not indulge in whatever you want. Heard of the fall of the Roman empire? I hope I don't have to explain that. Kinda sorry about my rant, but it's necessary so I don't self-destruct. Now on to my own healthy way of dealing with this serious passion against ignorance and selfishness! Yoga & Running, + Prayer. What else can I do? Talk more with no one listening?

Thursday, June 12, 2014

Human sex trafficking boils my blood!

Watch this video!

Tell people about your opposition to human trafficking!!!!!! Because you do care. Let yourself feel it. Xo

 It's a mindset that legitimizes it for these people, and if you're honest, that mindset isn't far from society's norm today (women are to be conquered; those that give it up aren't marriage material & they're okay to push down further; nothing wrong with using some people or each other just for sex, and perpetuating that approach; my body rules me what can I say; I no longer want my wife/Grown women who WANT to have sex with me - I want those I get thru the 'game' coersion/ I want younger - children actually/ I want those I raped/forced/bought. Where are you on the continuum? As a woman, are you contributing or furthering the myth that we can't control ourselves? As a man, are you part of the problem? Is your silence or midnight your own business helping justify these mindsets that are vocalized right in front if you? Of so, you're not a piece of crap. You're now aware. What you say or allow next is up to you. Now you can be that better person one day at a time, and you're changing!!. LOVE OTHERS & yourself, one day at a time!!!

This is not to condemn you if you have sex just to have sex (ladies/guys); that's your choice. But at least have sex wih those who want to have sex with you, in a clear sober mind, not coerced. Just because she is talked into it, and you score- she becomes an object and slowly she only sees her value as that- gaining worth only from her beauty or her sex appeal, and not for her whole person; it's an epidemic! Ladies- you are worth more than your body! So are you men, worth more than your body or wallet. We are all people; why not enjoy people at least, not just their body alone. Think about it. Mindset. If you want to go have sex, go, but do it knowing this stuff and don't bea part of this problem. Stop letting your pride and need to conquer women (people) come before being honest and letting her decide (if u only like her body and will not call her tomorrow, tell her, then let her decide. You will still find participants. Believe me. This will still help!!!
Women are beautiful. We have wonderful bodies. But we are bodies that come on people. And we are all part of the problem.

All sexual hyper-focused messaging focuses on instant self-gratification. This success to sexualiZe everything in today's culture has led to attempts to change our moral fabric and legitimize self-indulgence without the 'connection' to others, but rather sanctions pursuit of self interest OVER THE SAFETY OR CONSIDERATION OF OTHers! (Who are the major pushers of this message to the masses? Those with power and money to gain from the addictive tendencies and the lies our society now believes! Ie. my natural desires are UNCONTROLLABLE, so what can I do?! Gee, hopefully I won't be one of those persons w/ such uncontrollable insatiable desires for more that I rent a child for sex!) This is what's happening today! Te effort has to be more than just fighting the sex trafficking! We must fight the message, the mentality behind it!!! LOVING ONE ANOTHER is a decision! It isn't going to happen it a pure form if we justify putting our "natural needs" above others' needs to have love, security, freedom, and be free of coersion. Fight this with me. Dig deep. What is true freedom for you? Benign dominated by your body? Or being on control of your body and mind, and being free to make clear, conscious decisions that are best for everyone not just yourself? Because society shouldn't be run by a bunch of narcissistic people (engaging in whatever they want because it feels good)! It should be run w/ peope who realize we are all connected. What you do to one person you do to all. Because hate and unkindness breeds hate and unkindness. How would u treat your daughter or son? Or mother? Because that is how you should treat others! People loving those that love them doesn't quality as good. Even crazy, murderers/rapists/whatever-you-think-is-bad people do that. Anyone can love (action word; it's a verb! Look it up. Not just a feeling) those they like. It says much more to love those you don't know! Find a heart! Save these trafficked people who can't save themselves. Wouldn't you want to be saved damn it?! I'm so pissed! I love these poor children and women, and I don't even know them! Mark my words I will be helping them more very soon!!!!

Tuesday, June 3, 2014

A tale of terse titillation

Check out the speaker below, and you can assess my two cents as well.

What? Respect woman as more than a sexual object or conquest? Why? Respect myself? What does that even mean? In part, not feeling like you have to 'give it up' to get or give love or affection. In part, not gawking at women [especially] while you're with your wife. In part, recognizing the strengths in women you meet or know, and encouraging others to do the same (like your male buddies - men! Like your female friends when they belittle other women - ladies!). Oh, and seeing all people as more than a sexual escapade, and learning to connect sexuality, intelligence, thought, emotions, personality all into one (part of the movement may tell you women should feel just as free sexually as men, but I challenge the reverse - men and women both to value their body as part of their whole, not dissecting bodies into means to have immediate gratification and no self control to wait for a more suitable time to combine body & soul w/ another person; believe me it's even more fulfilling if not fun, when you know someone!). Getting to know all that before you know their body. Allowing opportunities for women and men both to prove their worth in the workplace through performance not looks, worth in relationships by how they treat others, and recognizing the innate worth of humanity and how we are all connected on a higher level. Find your way of expressing yourself spiritually, and your life will look more reflective and shine brighter for everyone to see, thus connecting you with others and bringing that joy from making others smile into your own life to manifest itself! Appreciate beauty as one aspect of humanity among many aspects, and not just something that is a thought silo that leads only to sex. THAT, I believe, is one of Gods many designs - that being, loving others & finding value in them, so that they learn to see value in others. You'd be surprised how much better people act when they feel valued.

(Note* I may have more faith-based beliefs on whether it's appropriate at all before marriage, but for purpose of appealing to a since of humanity in all of us, and basic rational thought and a common sense appeal for humanity...I've chosen to omit my take on the morality side for this independent post. Ask me more, I'll give you more. But this above is cannot be dismissed on some anti-religious grounds, because it's valid even independent of any objection to faith or God.)

Monday, May 12, 2014

Funny Stuff: If Men Were Like Dogs

Wednesday, April 9, 2014

Religion's Take on Porn

...because of religious convictions and morals, as exemplified by the Catechism of the Catholic Church, which states:
"Pornography [content] consists in removing real or simulated sexual acts from the intimacy of the partners, in order to display them deliberately to third parties. It offends against chastity because it perverts the conjugal act, the intimate giving of spouses to each other. It does grave injury to the dignity of its participants (actors, vendors, the public), since each one becomes an object of base pleasure and illicit profit for others. It immerses all who are involved in the illusion of a fantasy world. It is a grave offense.

...use of pornography involves indulgence in lust towards people other than ones spouse (which in Christianity is a sin)[14] and leads to an overall increase in sexually immoral behavior.

Pornography is directly opposed to the very heart of Islamic teachings, which is highlighted by Taqwa to gain a better self-control, The Shariah and the ethical principles prohibit looking at the private parts of another person. This fundamentally applies equally to looking at private parts in pictures or films, it is so to increase spiritual awareness and taqwa and prepare the soul to accept Allah (God). be elaborated later.

Tuesday, April 8, 2014

Porn's Playful Pursuit

I want to write a bit about the entertainment/media and pornography industry's pursuit of our souls, our minds, our bodies. I want to write about what I see as the larger issues, and what porn can do for you. I keep these issues close to my heart, whenever I decide to over-analyze today's topics and the connecting fibers, and the ramifications of our society's behaviors and self-gratifying beliefs. 

If you like to keep sex exciting and fun, maybe this is for you. If you like to think about others, this might be for you too. If you like to take on more views than one, this may be for you, as well as those of you who like to contemplate women's issues... I'm avoiding stating too much in the beginning. Just jump in. It's better that way.

(Please take the time to read, for the sake of your wife, your husband, your daughter, and those you love.)

I wanted to provide some backing and wording that describes how I happen to look at sexual nudity in films and in public. This is different from beauty-centered partial nudity or display, in that I am somewhat more tolerant than some religious people because I can appreciate the human form outside of a sexual context. Movies and ads today are blatantly and unarguably sexual in nature, with the aim for including such content to be to satisfy the male audience with sexy images. Mostly, it is appealing to men, with some images being targeted at women as well. This dissection of women, and of their bodies from their person, is offensive to me and I am uncomfortable having anyone in my immediate circle cater to this industry or be a part of the voluntary consumption of such materials, movies, images, and the like. I do not seek to control another person or people, or the world, but I do hope very much to have the same ideals as the person that walks most beside me; I hope for unity and agreement on certain social and moral issues, as to make our life harmonious and constructive. I do hope to influence others to look at the issue in a more holistic manner and think about more than just personal benefit or gain; what are the expanding ramifications of a society that values pieces of a person and condones this constructed definition of sexuality while limiting future generations of unborn by its definition? 

What are some reasonable boundaries in your opinion, for your own relationship, that you can set for yourself and expect from your partner, that creates reasonable compromise and satisfaction for both parties (and does not leave one feeling offended or at significant loss or disadvantage)?

Can you consider what bad and good these sort of perspectives can contribute to society, and the overall aim for the preservation of such views? What part of a bigger picture do you think this issue feeds into? Does it feed objectification of women and the normalcy or numbness to it for society’s members? Does pornographic content and then full pornography have more negative affects on young women and men that the outlier cases that see benefit (some men who have uncontrolled desires that are never met by a woman, and could turn hostile)? Are there more reasons to open the eyes of the complacent, to forge the way for women to hold their own opinion and objections, and feel comfortable objecting? Are there more reasons to allow for a differing of the norm, and to again breed the type of women and men that feel okay stepping out and speaking up for the preservation of some sort of respect and honor for the intimate exchanges between two people, and not destroying its image to push only in-the-moment-gratification that is so prevalent today?

I think the boundary has disappeared, and showing sexual acts with private parts in movies is past that boundary, and I don’t want to condone it. I have been sensitized somewhat to topless (even tho i turn my head), or underwear scenes, or obviously scanty clothing. But I feel offended when I’m with someone who watches it, or if i watch it, to the extent of highly sexual nudity or sexual acts. It’s not that different than porn, except no one is ejaculating.

This world is losing its morals. We have no specialness conveyed in public of that which exists between two people, and we push the idea it is Nothing important, valuable and giving between two people - and to our children! Sex has become nothing but a selfish act, a gratifying action separate from who we are inside. It is all about our body, our own gratification, our own orgasm. It’s not about the other person. It’s about convincing, scoring (a woman or her body - separate pieces from her soul/spirit), coercion - getting a girl drunk, and capitalization (both men and women - taking advantage and gain by the return of favors or gifts, contributing to using someone else). Sex should be about sharing, enjoying, arousal, bonding, gratifying each other….the list goes on! It’s a great thing, when it’s not chopped up, used selfishly, for gain, hurting others to be obtained, and used to entertain at the expense of others. It offends me, and I’m not afraid to say it, to see it used so cheaply and then promoting that ideal on the screens and out in society so it becomes the norm. We’ve come to expect so little from sex and sharing, and giving. It can be FANTASTIC to allow sex to be special, not shared, and fully exciting (not dampened by over exposure to pornographic content or actions). 

I’ve met so many women who say what they’re taught to say, about porno; they condone or make allowances for their men because they are afraid. They feel like they’ll be the odd one out, the man will get angry and not like them as much or fight them on the point, friends will think negatively about their ‘prude’ stance, on and on. However, when I perhaps slightly apologetically announce I actually oppose it’s push in society (at least keep it behind closed doors and make people pursue it - don’t push it as a norm into mainstream movies and advertising to condition mass populations and women to accept it as unavoidable and normal!), these same women retract their original appeasement and let on it bothers them; they let on they think it may take away from women as people, from the original intent of sexuality and its fulfillment. From their Worth. The thing the world often pushes as freedom is actually exact opposite; its being oppressed by a lie. It’s being limited and made smaller and less of a person by the way some worldly group defines us. Total freedom is actually entrapment - it’s bondage to worldy ideals, it’s freedom to become lost and be less. I oppose that kind of life, the lie of what freedom is. It’s actually giving your SELF away for free. It’s making you smaller, lesser, and lost in the search for your self that you lost. It’s demanding that you become the person everyone should become and be ‘free’ to be that which they tell you that you are. The lies always look better than simple truth, don’t they? Lies of glamour, that final crescendo of self acceptance and acceptance by others. Well, believe me, you’ll never get there. The only way there (to an UNMOVING target) is towards something deeper, more meaningful, that sees you as a whole and integrated person. I’ll tell you for me, I am acutely aware that a higher definition has been placed before me, of womanhood and desirability that has been defined by God himself, and that definition has not changed. The only time I forget it is when I let the world focus attention on my beauty or tell me what I need to be. Those things are fleeting, changing, and break a woman (or man) into fragments of their Self that is never going to be satisfying; it is a perpetual pursuit that takes your attention off what it should really be; it denies the full value of a woman’s body, and it’s connection to her heart and soul. It opens her (and men) to a world of meaningless actions that give parts of them away, and little by little make everything mean nothing but what the moment dictates. THIS is a GRADUAL procession that most refuse to notice the parts that make it up. Tolerance of others is good. Tolerance of loss of boundaries and best interest of our society is another. Loving others is the right goal, but tolerating the utter disregard for the worth of whole people is absurd! Women and men should not be reduced to their bodies alone, and that message propagated throughout the media, entertainment (movies, ads, music), and our society at large.  I oppose it being shoved down my throat to lighten up, see porn is normal, see people using women like objects and as conquests in movies as acceptable (and also women being bought and selling themselves for a new dress or dinner or fame as well), and thus allow my own daughter to do it because, see, it’s okay. It won’t lessen her worth, her value, her own experience.
See, that’s what it’s about; a bigger picture. Not about your satisfaction, or my tolerance to it. It’s about other people, and the bigger implications. Not about whether it’s ‘just enterainment’ or not hurting anyone. It’s about what the message and expectation we pass on to those we love, those who’ll come later. It’s about does it do More good, or More bad? Does it limit what we understand sex to be, and does it focus more on self than on others. This world has become very self-centered. I’m sure I could relax, put on the sexiest half-clothing I can find, every day, while I ‘have it’, and just work the room to get all the attention i could want (and more than I could want, since I don’t want it)….but that would just feed my ego, make me more self-centered and finding myself ‘deserving’ whatever the world tells me i deserve. All the while, forgetting about anyone else, learning to not cope with rejection or not getting what I want. I’m sure if I was that person, I’d be likely to stick around with my partner when things get rough, since I’d love getting my way, and deserve better, as I’ve learned. I’m sure when I’m sharing an intimate moment with someone and I never am satisfied, I wouldn’t leave; i’d take time to re-learn what real intimacy is and allow my partner to learn to please…

Does it sound like the new woman or man in the future? I’m sure the sarcasm is obvious.

Commit to being un-normal. Commit to standing up for the bigger picture. Commit to being different, and someone maybe thinking you’re weird. That’s how change happens. And this isn’t a selfish change that’s being pushed; it’s not a one-sided gain. It’s saying, no, this isn’t so small or so meaningless, and I don’t condone telling our next generation that message! It’s big; it hurts and it also bonds. Bodies are not separate from the soul and spirit. You can cheapen them sure, but it’s not ‘normal’. It’s only animal. We are SO MUCH MORE!
Research concerning the effects of pornography is concerned with multiple outcomes.[42] Such research includes potential influences on rapedomestic violencesexual dysfunction, difficulties with sexual relationships, and child sexual abuse. Viewers of novel and extreme pornographic images may become tolerant to such images, which may impact sexual response.

A 2013 Gallup survey reported that, of U.S. adults, 66% believe that pornography is "morally wrong" while 31% believe that it is "morally acceptable".[1]


Any editing or points you'd like to have expanded, please feel free to comment, as this is only my initial gut output. It can definitely be elaborated/expanded.

Thursday, January 30, 2014

The Sweater - A Short Story

The Sweater

He wasn't wearing his sweater this time, and it scared him. So, he put on a plastic smile and wore it until it felt natural. Then he smiled all day, and if every passerby did indeed  glance at his smiling face, he did in fact look happy, and he made them smile. He made them feel happy, for that moment, until they found something else to feel. He thought he knew what happiness felt like, because he acted out what happiness looked like.

Usually, on a typical day, he gets dressed, thinks on what he has to do for the day, and heads out determined to do everything on the top portion of his list. The top portion is the no-excuses no exceptions part of the list; the part that will demand to be heard, and become louder the longer it takes, thumping in his chest until he is sure everyone can hear it's noisy push against his skin. Therefore, today is not a typical day.

Now today would have been a day just like any other, except for he forgot his sweater. He thinks somehow he might have done it on purpose, and that is infuriating, because he expects more of himself. Not to mention, when he wears that sweater, he is the same person he is everyday, in just the same way that the sweater stays the same.

His sweater means he's dressed. When he's dressed, he's ready; when he's ready, he looks as ready looks: he is calm, collected, reserved, full of ideas, and he is certain everyone sees him just as he sees himself. Everyone needs to see him as complete. So, he is sure they do.

What happens today requires him to look at what he's wearing; what happens today means he isn't himself. It means, that he doesn't know who he is. If he isn't himself, who is he? Can he be someone else? Who should he be? Are there rules?

As soon as the train stops, he walks down the steps and heads towards the north end of the terminal, and then up the stairs. He climbs them, one by one, slowly as if he is incapable of increasing his speed because he is made that way. He believes he's made that way, so he is. Plus, the stairs make him tired; they make everyone tired.

Because his sweater defines him, he is lost without it. He has been so busy being who he the person who wore the sweater would, and in fact, should be. He defined himself and by simply believing it, he convinced everyone else that's who he was, because he just seemed so sure that's who he is.

He gets to the top, and exits the station at street level. There, right there, before his office, is a consignment shop. This shop he's never seen before, because he usually counts the steps to work, not because he secretly dreads every last step. If he dreaded every last step, he wouldn't be there. Since he is there, then he must not count steps from dread, but because he is concerned that he walks the same pace everyday, that he isn't getting older, and in fact slower. That must be why he counts steps. He likes to be prompt; he likes to keep the same pace, never slow down.

So, he stops at this shop, and he looks for a sweater, just like his own. It needs to be brown, with light stitching down the elbows, and with little elbow pads for resting his arms on table when he's so thoroughly interested in the conversation that he feels he might need to relax and lean towards the speaker as if to say, tell me more. He doesn't lean because he's tired, because if he were that tired, any more tired than the next guy, he'd get more sleep. He doesn't sleep more, so he reasons that he must not really be all that tired.

This ridiculous store, with its clerks, just isn't prepared for a real business executive, a real hard worker; they don't understand he needs this sweater. What did she say, that there's a dark blue one? Okay, he'll take it. Putting his arms in the sleeves as he goes, he walks briskly towards his office.

Then something strange happens. He's so busy putting on this sweater that he forgets to smile. Someone bumps into him, and then they spill coffee on his sweater. This someone says they're sorry, and some small talk comes out of their mouth, and he must go to work without a sweater. Men without sweaters are not ready. They don't know what to expect. He knows this because his father was always prepared and knew what to expect, and his father wore a sweater. His father always got what he expected.

As he arrives, he walks through the front lobby, and lo and behold, an unexpected thing happens yet again. This woman, she wants to know where he got his shirt. The front desk clerk, she's worked there all along? He's surprised he hasn't noticed her before. She says she thinks men who are confident enough to wear soft colors are quite the men. Is he quite the man? He's always just though he was a man, the way a man is, and that was good enough. Today, he's thinking maybe a man can be an exceptional man, if they knew to expect it.

Maybe she's right; maybe sweaters are collected, and not quite anything but sweaters. Could he have been quite the man in the sweater? He's not sure, but he'll see who he is today, without his sweater. Maybe he will have to, as they say, "play it by ear."

He takes the stairs, and he climbs them, two by two. He begins to almost race up them, and he then his breath catches in his throat. He feels his heart thumping, and it scares him just slightly. Then he realizes, that feeling seems like the one that he has when he's working on his list, but he forgot his list. It's in his sweater. That feeling is because of thrill, not fright. So, he keeps going, til he gets to the top. He didn't even know he could get to the top, without stopping. He's amazed that he doesn't know what to expect, and it's fun.

Where did  the day go? It's closing time, and he must send the last email that contains his reports, his numbers, his conservative estimates and projections. Then, right before he sends it, something different happens. He signs his name as usual, and for some reason, he adds that even though his projections are most probable and most likely to happen, there is the possibility that if they expect more tomorrow, maybe more is possible. So, they will work for more; tomorrow, he says, " let's keep the options open."

He gets on the train, just as he's used to, and heads home, but this time, he's ready for anything. Maybe tomorrow can be different, if he is different. What if he isn't only the man who wears the sweater? What if believing men who wear sweaters need to be conservative made him conservative, because he acted that way, and thus everyone treated him that way, and he felt like that person. Until today, he thought he was that person, so he acted like it. What if...he forgets his sweater tomorrow?

(Written originally sometime in 2010. As usual, maybe I'll clean it up later. ;-p)