Saturday, September 21, 2013

I'm late, I'm sorry, and I'm sorry I'm late.

Life is full of expectations, and I'm one of my biggest expectants. I expect myself to deliver the goods, get the 'stuff' done, and to do it happily. I have hopes for doing it on time, even though it'd be a miracle to not get behind, or even to get everything on this list done today (at least in the time allotted). Somewhere between this and that; somewhere between stopping to say hello (and staying an extra hour just to add a smile to someone's day), and getting to the gym, came an opportunity to stop by and grab that certain lovely thing that is finally on sale! Oh, and I've been waiting for what,  ever(?!) to stop by the farmers market, and there it is. Trying to fit in that extra small task somewhere after getting my career work done, working out, making dinner, phoning a friend a need, working on my individual business goals, and getting some writing done. Then ultimately, I'm saying sorry to myself for one of the chores that must be prioritized for another day. Or I'm sorry I just couldn't do it that happily.

Sorry. Sometimes, I'm know it's late, but I'm happy just for getting it done. Some other times,  I'm just saying sorry, that in fact I am late.

Is this really a problem, if I know that in order to get as much done as I can, that sometimes I'm late (with my tasks that don't fall into the work realm)? Or does it really mean I try to fit too many things into a day? I don't even have kiddos yet, and I can only imagine that I may have to divide my list up across the days in order to make it happen; the kids might not really be happy if I'm often times late.

This blog is late (according to my own expectation of what my frequency in publishing would be), but guess what; it's late and I'm still doing it.

I think that sometimes, you have to take what you can give. You have to give what you have.

While it's beneficial to practice making realistic goals, sometimes the greatest things happen when you're not realistic; when you're a dreamer! As long as I'm not too busy being sorry, why not try for as much as my day can handle (knowing my limits, and not expecting the impossible, but hoping for it!)? Why not make two lists, one that has time constraints (business or professionally related), to fit in today, and one that belongs to tomorrow. Or the Hope List?! Then I can aim for the best, and Hope for the rest!

Practically speaking, I will admit, I've divided my days into musts, and should, and can. I have my list. But don't think I'm not aiming for more than today! I encourage all of you to make your lists, and prioritize them, and then aim for more (within reason).

I have so may things on this list. Things I need to get done. Things I really want to get done, and things I know may take me longer than I wish. But, I have goals, and I'm plugging away one by one. I have my check boxes, but sometimes they're dashes. I know that I can write this contract, and set up the review in two weeks. I know I can write this blog entry and leave it in draft. I know I can even publish the draft before I come back to edit. Because for me, getting it written is half my goal, and it's one part of it off my list. The writing is the must. The editing is a nice to have. :)

At the least, I'm emptying the page, because there's some big stuff on this continuing page! It's not just tasks, it's bigger goals broken into mini-goals, and even bigger goals than that! I think the process of writing it down, building the plan, and managing your time (for the most part [wink]), gets you used to the process and prepared for the work. Each time you accomplish the mini goals, you come closer and more practiced.
Each time I get something done, I have one item less, and am one item closer to my bigger list. If you haven't yet, try it!

Maybe one day, I won't be sorry, nor will I be late. Instead of saying I'm sorry that I'm late, I'll just be...happy and on time. That's a goal for a later date! For now, I'm happy with -  happy I'm complete. :)

Thursday, September 5, 2013

Caress you. Caress me.

with words of love and wisdom
at least that's how it's supposed to be

we're brought together here
to help each other thrive
yet when we think to get ahead
empathy takes a nose-dive

when did it become a race
to see if we can win
making sure others fail is futile
yet humanity does is again and again

pick a foe and pick a winner
you're bound to pick one side
but what happens when we pick both
could we allow everyone to thrive

why does being successful
mean hurting someone else
why must another have to fall
to rise above one's self

i'm just a girl with notions
of rising to my unique 'top'
and while i do so quietly
i'll make sure to stop

stop to help another rise with me
i'll push the limit with indignity
to help two of us together find
the wealth of dreams that is infinity

i say they're wrong
there is glory in helping, says me
so if helping is a criminal act
let us be made villains happily

if caressing means passing on words
or helping with one's hands
i caress you;  you caress me
and the world misunderstands

they misunderstand: that happiness isn't only found
in pursuing it for oneself
it can also be discovered when
you see it form on the face of someone else.

(TBD on editing until later. although, so are the rest of these blogs. i know it's rough, but better than none?? okay, that's debatable. anyway - it is what it is, and probably, again, what it's not.)