Tuesday, April 8, 2014

Porn's Playful Pursuit


I want to write a bit about the entertainment/media and pornography industry's pursuit of our souls, our minds, our bodies. I want to write about what I see as the larger issues, and what porn can do for you. I keep these issues close to my heart, whenever I decide to over-analyze today's topics and the connecting fibers, and the ramifications of our society's behaviors and self-gratifying beliefs. 

If you like to keep sex exciting and fun, maybe this is for you. If you like to think about others, this might be for you too. If you like to take on more views than one, this may be for you, as well as those of you who like to contemplate women's issues... I'm avoiding stating too much in the beginning. Just jump in. It's better that way.

(Please take the time to read, for the sake of your wife, your husband, your daughter, and those you love.)

I wanted to provide some backing and wording that describes how I happen to look at sexual nudity in films and in public. This is different from beauty-centered partial nudity or display, in that I am somewhat more tolerant than some religious people because I can appreciate the human form outside of a sexual context. Movies and ads today are blatantly and unarguably sexual in nature, with the aim for including such content to be to satisfy the male audience with sexy images. Mostly, it is appealing to men, with some images being targeted at women as well. This dissection of women, and of their bodies from their person, is offensive to me and I am uncomfortable having anyone in my immediate circle cater to this industry or be a part of the voluntary consumption of such materials, movies, images, and the like. I do not seek to control another person or people, or the world, but I do hope very much to have the same ideals as the person that walks most beside me; I hope for unity and agreement on certain social and moral issues, as to make our life harmonious and constructive. I do hope to influence others to look at the issue in a more holistic manner and think about more than just personal benefit or gain; what are the expanding ramifications of a society that values pieces of a person and condones this constructed definition of sexuality while limiting future generations of unborn by its definition? 

What are some reasonable boundaries in your opinion, for your own relationship, that you can set for yourself and expect from your partner, that creates reasonable compromise and satisfaction for both parties (and does not leave one feeling offended or at significant loss or disadvantage)?

Can you consider what bad and good these sort of perspectives can contribute to society, and the overall aim for the preservation of such views? What part of a bigger picture do you think this issue feeds into? Does it feed objectification of women and the normalcy or numbness to it for society’s members? Does pornographic content and then full pornography have more negative affects on young women and men that the outlier cases that see benefit (some men who have uncontrolled desires that are never met by a woman, and could turn hostile)? Are there more reasons to open the eyes of the complacent, to forge the way for women to hold their own opinion and objections, and feel comfortable objecting? Are there more reasons to allow for a differing of the norm, and to again breed the type of women and men that feel okay stepping out and speaking up for the preservation of some sort of respect and honor for the intimate exchanges between two people, and not destroying its image to push only in-the-moment-gratification that is so prevalent today?

I think the boundary has disappeared, and showing sexual acts with private parts in movies is past that boundary, and I don’t want to condone it. I have been sensitized somewhat to topless (even tho i turn my head), or underwear scenes, or obviously scanty clothing. But I feel offended when I’m with someone who watches it, or if i watch it, to the extent of highly sexual nudity or sexual acts. It’s not that different than porn, except no one is ejaculating.

This world is losing its morals. We have no specialness conveyed in public of that which exists between two people, and we push the idea it is Nothing important, valuable and giving between two people - and to our children! Sex has become nothing but a selfish act, a gratifying action separate from who we are inside. It is all about our body, our own gratification, our own orgasm. It’s not about the other person. It’s about convincing, scoring (a woman or her body - separate pieces from her soul/spirit), coercion - getting a girl drunk, and capitalization (both men and women - taking advantage and gain by the return of favors or gifts, contributing to using someone else). Sex should be about sharing, enjoying, arousal, bonding, gratifying each other….the list goes on! It’s a great thing, when it’s not chopped up, used selfishly, for gain, hurting others to be obtained, and used to entertain at the expense of others. It offends me, and I’m not afraid to say it, to see it used so cheaply and then promoting that ideal on the screens and out in society so it becomes the norm. We’ve come to expect so little from sex and sharing, and giving. It can be FANTASTIC to allow sex to be special, not shared, and fully exciting (not dampened by over exposure to pornographic content or actions). 

I’ve met so many women who say what they’re taught to say, about porno; they condone or make allowances for their men because they are afraid. They feel like they’ll be the odd one out, the man will get angry and not like them as much or fight them on the point, friends will think negatively about their ‘prude’ stance, on and on. However, when I perhaps slightly apologetically announce I actually oppose it’s push in society (at least keep it behind closed doors and make people pursue it - don’t push it as a norm into mainstream movies and advertising to condition mass populations and women to accept it as unavoidable and normal!), these same women retract their original appeasement and let on it bothers them; they let on they think it may take away from women as people, from the original intent of sexuality and its fulfillment. From their Worth. The thing the world often pushes as freedom is actually exact opposite; its being oppressed by a lie. It’s being limited and made smaller and less of a person by the way some worldly group defines us. Total freedom is actually entrapment - it’s bondage to worldy ideals, it’s freedom to become lost and be less. I oppose that kind of life, the lie of what freedom is. It’s actually giving your SELF away for free. It’s making you smaller, lesser, and lost in the search for your self that you lost. It’s demanding that you become the person everyone should become and be ‘free’ to be that which they tell you that you are. The lies always look better than simple truth, don’t they? Lies of glamour, that final crescendo of self acceptance and acceptance by others. Well, believe me, you’ll never get there. The only way there (to an UNMOVING target) is towards something deeper, more meaningful, that sees you as a whole and integrated person. I’ll tell you for me, I am acutely aware that a higher definition has been placed before me, of womanhood and desirability that has been defined by God himself, and that definition has not changed. The only time I forget it is when I let the world focus attention on my beauty or tell me what I need to be. Those things are fleeting, changing, and break a woman (or man) into fragments of their Self that is never going to be satisfying; it is a perpetual pursuit that takes your attention off what it should really be; it denies the full value of a woman’s body, and it’s connection to her heart and soul. It opens her (and men) to a world of meaningless actions that give parts of them away, and little by little make everything mean nothing but what the moment dictates. THIS is a GRADUAL procession that most refuse to notice the parts that make it up. Tolerance of others is good. Tolerance of loss of boundaries and best interest of our society is another. Loving others is the right goal, but tolerating the utter disregard for the worth of whole people is absurd! Women and men should not be reduced to their bodies alone, and that message propagated throughout the media, entertainment (movies, ads, music), and our society at large.  I oppose it being shoved down my throat to lighten up, see porn is normal, see people using women like objects and as conquests in movies as acceptable (and also women being bought and selling themselves for a new dress or dinner or fame as well), and thus allow my own daughter to do it because, see, it’s okay. It won’t lessen her worth, her value, her own experience.
See, that’s what it’s about; a bigger picture. Not about your satisfaction, or my tolerance to it. It’s about other people, and the bigger implications. Not about whether it’s ‘just enterainment’ or not hurting anyone. It’s about what the message and expectation we pass on to those we love, those who’ll come later. It’s about does it do More good, or More bad? Does it limit what we understand sex to be, and does it focus more on self than on others. This world has become very self-centered. I’m sure I could relax, put on the sexiest half-clothing I can find, every day, while I ‘have it’, and just work the room to get all the attention i could want (and more than I could want, since I don’t want it)….but that would just feed my ego, make me more self-centered and finding myself ‘deserving’ whatever the world tells me i deserve. All the while, forgetting about anyone else, learning to not cope with rejection or not getting what I want. I’m sure if I was that person, I’d be likely to stick around with my partner when things get rough, since I’d love getting my way, and deserve better, as I’ve learned. I’m sure when I’m sharing an intimate moment with someone and I never am satisfied, I wouldn’t leave; i’d take time to re-learn what real intimacy is and allow my partner to learn to please…

Does it sound like the new woman or man in the future? I’m sure the sarcasm is obvious.

Commit to being un-normal. Commit to standing up for the bigger picture. Commit to being different, and someone maybe thinking you’re weird. That’s how change happens. And this isn’t a selfish change that’s being pushed; it’s not a one-sided gain. It’s saying, no, this isn’t so small or so meaningless, and I don’t condone telling our next generation that message! It’s big; it hurts and it also bonds. Bodies are not separate from the soul and spirit. You can cheapen them sure, but it’s not ‘normal’. It’s only animal. We are SO MUCH MORE!
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Research concerning the effects of pornography is concerned with multiple outcomes.[42] Such research includes potential influences on rapedomestic violencesexual dysfunction, difficulties with sexual relationships, and child sexual abuse. Viewers of novel and extreme pornographic images may become tolerant to such images, which may impact sexual response.

A 2013 Gallup survey reported that, of U.S. adults, 66% believe that pornography is "morally wrong" while 31% believe that it is "morally acceptable".[1]

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Any editing or points you'd like to have expanded, please feel free to comment, as this is only my initial gut output. It can definitely be elaborated/expanded.