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I've been caught calm in situations where I should be alarmed. I've walked with strangers and plunged into oceans and bottles alike. Maybe just once or twice.
Let me explain.
I'm 21, and headed to a party, of volleyball women hosting, and men shorter and posing. The only thing for which I was unprepared, was that I suddenly had little man complex, come out of nowhere.
I arrive to this party, cute as 21 can be, with my eyes robed in color as curtains, and my hair done naturally. I'm wearing leather pants, and a purple crop top. I'm accompanied by my male buddies, who before getting me, made only one stop.
They grabbed a 1/5th of something toasty, and headed out to get me. We arrive, them holding my hands, and ready to party. I head in first, followed by my friends. However, the problem I fast realize is that I feel short, and for this I'm not happy. I'm looking up to everyone I see.
My boyfriend, he looks at me, and he knows it's time to go. When I was younger, I used to think that maybe I could break my legs a couple of times, just so that I could grow taller, and look more the part of the athletic side that was me. We head out the door. Hand me that bottle, I say, I'm thirsty.
I gave up that dream of tallness and grace; when I realized I wouldn't heal completely by breaking my bones, it's not practical, and long-distance runners are smaller in stature and not tall, generally.
Suddenly, Im 28, and I've just moved to LA. I'm starting over after moving from Palm Desert, quite spontaneously.
Now real quickly, here's a synopsis of 3 years, living life silly. In the meantime, I've never been seriously hurt, or concerned for my safety, and I don't watch t.v. What kind of world did I live in where I don't watch t.v.? Because I'm not ruled by what I'm 'supposed to be', and upon hearing I don't participate in strip-clubs or drugs, I'm made out to be a dinosaur, by whomever I meet. I'm an old-fashioned girl who dresses quite fashionably. I move about in a word, where I live eyes closed to danger, and do so happily.
I drift around LA, looking for fun. I'm in front of a restaurant, staring aimlessly, contemplating if this is the place to be. A limo drives up, crazy enough, and asks me where I'm going. He asks me, 'do you need help? Where are you trying to go?" I say I'm new to Los Angeles and I have no idea what to do. He graciously offers me a ride to the Standard Hotel, where he says, no charge, he'll take me, and get me in so that I can see. It's the hippest place in LA, and for a girl like me, it's the place to be.
I go, with the limo driver, who takes me on an adventure, to play at place I've never been. He pulls over, talks to the gatekeepers, and they place a band on my arm, and lead me to the party. It's an amazing party, and I notice everyone's dressed up, in contrast to me. I'm wearing jeans, a nice sweater, and Diesel "tennies".
Wow! How exciting!
A couple hours later I'm walking into mid-downtown to find my car, wherever it may be. I have to check the meter, and then decide how to find the next amazing thing I might see. As I hop out of my car, I'm greeted by two rather proper guys my age, who ask me where I'm going. I say that I actually have no idea, and they invite me to a birthday party, invite only, at the Edison. I say, why not, and skip my way with them to this party. It's a blast! I see fairies and hear of absinthe, and many things that are new to me. Then they offer for me to come to Pasadena and they can drive me to get my car in the morning. I actually go, and my suitor, he's a perfect gentlemen, while I get a perfect night's sleep! On his wall are action figures, shape-shifters, and fantasies. Oh, and he does bring me back in the morning. Then, upon arriving to my temporary home, my very good friend is worried for me. He's both amazed at my fearlessness and yet warns me. Be careful out there. You live like nothing bad's ever happened, and while it may be okay right now, it's probably because, well you're quite innocent and they can see. You're lucky, that you get away safely, all while being quite silly.
I once was a silly dinosaur. So now, what might I be?
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