Funny Stuff: If Men Were Like Dogs

Post by Mauricien.

Religion's Take on Porn

See: 

http://fleeinc.org/2014/01/28/game-of-thrones-god-and-you/#comment-489

...because of religious convictions and morals, as exemplified by the Catechism of the Catholic Church, which states:

"Pornography [content] consists in removing real or simulated sexual acts from the intimacy of the partners, in order to display them deliberately to third parties. It offends against chastity because it perverts the conjugal act, the intimate giving of spouses to each other. It does grave injury to the dignity of its participants (actors, vendors, the public), since each one becomes an object of base pleasure and illicit profit for others. It immerses all who are involved in the illusion of a fantasy world. It is a grave offense.

...use of pornography involves indulgence in lust towards people other than ones spouse (which in Christianity is a sin)^[14] and leads to an overall increase in sexually immoral behavior.

Pornography is directly opposed to the very heart of Islamic teachings, which is highlighted by Taqwa to gain a better self-control, The Shariah and the ethical principles prohibit looking at the private parts of another person. This fundamentally applies equally to looking at private parts in pictures or films, it is so to increase spiritual awareness and taqwa and prepare the soul to accept Allah (God).

...to be elaborated later.

Porn's Playful Pursuit

I want to write a bit about the entertainment/media and pornography industry's pursuit of our souls, our minds, our bodies. I want to write about what I see as the larger issues, and what porn can do for you. I keep these issues close to my heart, whenever I decide to over-analyze today's topics and the connecting fibers, and the ramifications of our society's behaviors and self-gratifying beliefs. 

If you like to keep sex exciting and fun, maybe this is for you. If you like to think about others, this might be for you too. If you like to take on more views than one, this may be for you, as well as those of you who like to contemplate women's issues... I'm avoiding stating too much in the beginning. Just jump in. It's better that way.

(Please take the time to read, for the sake of your wife, your husband, your daughter, and those you love.)

I wanted to provide some backing and wording that describes how I happen to look at sexual nudity in films and in public. This is different from beauty-centered partial nudity or display, in that I am somewhat more tolerant than some religious people because I can appreciate the human form outside of a sexual context. Movies and ads today are blatantly and unarguably sexual in nature, with the aim for including such content to be to satisfy the male audience with sexy images. Mostly, it is appealing to men, with some images being targeted at women as well. This dissection of women, and of their bodies from their person, is offensive to me and I am uncomfortable having anyone in my immediate circle cater to this industry or be a part of the voluntary consumption of such materials, movies, images, and the like. I do not seek to control another person or people, or the world, but I do hope very much to have the same ideals as the person that walks most beside me; I hope for unity and agreement on certain social and moral issues, as to make our life harmonious and constructive. I do hope to influence others to look at the issue in a more holistic manner and think about more than just personal benefit or gain; what are the expanding ramifications of a society that values pieces of a person and condones this constructed definition of sexuality while limiting future generations of unborn by its definition? 

What are some reasonable boundaries in your opinion, for your own relationship, that you can set for yourself and expect from your partner, that creates reasonable compromise and satisfaction for both parties (and does not leave one feeling offended or at significant loss or disadvantage)?

Can you consider what bad and good these sort of perspectives can contribute to society, and the overall aim for the preservation of such views? What part of a bigger picture do you think this issue feeds into? Does it feed objectification of women and the normalcy or numbness to it for society’s members? Does pornographic content and then full pornography have more negative affects on young women and men that the outlier cases that see benefit (some men who have uncontrolled desires that are never met by a woman, and could turn hostile)? Are there more reasons to open the eyes of the complacent, to forge the way for women to hold their own opinion and objections, and feel comfortable objecting? Are there more reasons to allow for a differing of the norm, and to again breed the type of women and men that feel okay stepping out and speaking up for the preservation of some sort of respect and honor for the intimate exchanges between two people, and not destroying its image to push only in-the-moment-gratification that is so prevalent today?

I think the boundary has disappeared, and showing sexual acts with private parts in movies is past that boundary, and I don’t want to condone it. I have been sensitized somewhat to topless (even tho i turn my head), or underwear scenes, or obviously scanty clothing. But I feel offended when I’m with someone who watches it, or if i watch it, to the extent of highly sexual nudity or sexual acts. It’s not that different than porn, except no one is ejaculating.

This world is losing its morals. We have no specialness conveyed in public of that which exists between two people, and we push the idea it is Nothing important, valuable and giving between two people - and to our children! Sex has become nothing but a selfish act, a gratifying action separate from who we are inside. It is all about our body, our own gratification, our own orgasm. It’s not about the other person. It’s about convincing, scoring (a woman or her body - separate pieces from her soul/spirit), coercion - getting a girl drunk, and capitalization (both men and women - taking advantage and gain by the return of favors or gifts, contributing to using someone else). Sex should be about sharing, enjoying, arousal, bonding, gratifying each other….the list goes on! It’s a great thing, when it’s not chopped up, used selfishly, for gain, hurting others to be obtained, and used to entertain at the expense of others. It offends me, and I’m not afraid to say it, to see it used so cheaply and then promoting that ideal on the screens and out in society so it becomes the norm. We’ve come to expect so little from sex and sharing, and giving. It can be FANTASTIC to allow sex to be special, not shared, and fully exciting (not dampened by over exposure to pornographic content or actions). 

I’ve met so many women who say what they’re taught to say, about porno; they condone or make allowances for their men because they are afraid. They feel like they’ll be the odd one out, the man will get angry and not like them as much or fight them on the point, friends will think negatively about their ‘prude’ stance, on and on. However, when I perhaps slightly apologetically announce I actually oppose it’s push in society (at least keep it behind closed doors and make people pursue it - don’t push it as a norm into mainstream movies and advertising to condition mass populations and women to accept it as unavoidable and normal!), these same women retract their original appeasement and let on it bothers them; they let on they think it may take away from women as people, from the original intent of sexuality and its fulfillment. From their Worth. The thing the world often pushes as freedom is actually exact opposite; its being oppressed by a lie. It’s being limited and made smaller and less of a person by the way some worldly group defines us. Total freedom is actually entrapment - it’s bondage to worldy ideals, it’s freedom to become lost and be less. I oppose that kind of life, the lie of what freedom is. It’s actually giving your SELF away for free. It’s making you smaller, lesser, and lost in the search for your self that you lost. It’s demanding that you become the person everyone should become and be ‘free’ to be that which they tell you that you are. The lies always look better than simple truth, don’t they? Lies of glamour, that final crescendo of self acceptance and acceptance by others. Well, believe me, you’ll never get there. The only way there (to an UNMOVING target) is towards something deeper, more meaningful, that sees you as a whole and integrated person. I’ll tell you for me, I am acutely aware that a higher definition has been placed before me, of womanhood and desirability that has been defined by God himself, and that definition has not changed. The only time I forget it is when I let the world focus attention on my beauty or tell me what I need to be. Those things are fleeting, changing, and break a woman (or man) into fragments of their Self that is never going to be satisfying; it is a perpetual pursuit that takes your attention off what it should really be; it denies the full value of a woman’s body, and it’s connection to her heart and soul. It opens her (and men) to a world of meaningless actions that give parts of them away, and little by little make everything mean nothing but what the moment dictates. THIS is a GRADUAL procession that most refuse to notice the parts that make it up. Tolerance of others is good. Tolerance of loss of boundaries and best interest of our society is another. Loving others is the right goal, but tolerating the utter disregard for the worth of whole people is absurd! Women and men should not be reduced to their bodies alone, and that message propagated throughout the media, entertainment (movies, ads, music), and our society at large.  I oppose it being shoved down my throat to lighten up, see porn is normal, see people using women like objects and as conquests in movies as acceptable (and also women being bought and selling themselves for a new dress or dinner or fame as well), and thus allow my own daughter to do it because, see, it’s okay. It won’t lessen her worth, her value, her own experience.

See, that’s what it’s about; a bigger picture. Not about your satisfaction, or my tolerance to it. It’s about other people, and the bigger implications. Not about whether it’s ‘just enterainment’ or not hurting anyone. It’s about what the message and expectation we pass on to those we love, those who’ll come later. It’s about does it do More good, or More bad? Does it limit what we understand sex to be, and does it focus more on self than on others. This world has become very self-centered. I’m sure I could relax, put on the sexiest half-clothing I can find, every day, while I ‘have it’, and just work the room to get all the attention i could want (and more than I could want, since I don’t want it)….but that would just feed my ego, make me more self-centered and finding myself ‘deserving’ whatever the world tells me i deserve. All the while, forgetting about anyone else, learning to not cope with rejection or not getting what I want. I’m sure if I was that person, I’d be likely to stick around with my partner when things get rough, since I’d love getting my way, and deserve better, as I’ve learned. I’m sure when I’m sharing an intimate moment with someone and I never am satisfied, I wouldn’t leave; i’d take time to re-learn what real intimacy is and allow my partner to learn to please…

Does it sound like the new woman or man in the future? I’m sure the sarcasm is obvious.

Commit to being un-normal. Commit to standing up for the bigger picture. Commit to being different, and someone maybe thinking you’re weird. That’s how change happens. And this isn’t a selfish change that’s being pushed; it’s not a one-sided gain. It’s saying, no, this isn’t so small or so meaningless, and I don’t condone telling our next generation that message! It’s big; it hurts and it also bonds. Bodies are not separate from the soul and spirit. You can cheapen them sure, but it’s not ‘normal’. It’s only animal. We are SO MUCH MORE!

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Research concerning the effects of pornography is concerned with multiple outcomes.^[42] Such research includes potential influences on rape, domestic violence, sexual dysfunction, difficulties with sexual relationships, and child sexual abuse. Viewers of novel and extreme pornographic images may become tolerant to such images, which may impact sexual response.

A 2013 Gallup survey reported that, of U.S. adults, 66% believe that pornography is "morally wrong" while 31% believe that it is "morally acceptable".^[1]

For more, see: http://feliciasadvice.blogspot.com/2014/04/religions-take-on-porn.html

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Any editing or points you'd like to have expanded, please feel free to comment, as this is only my initial gut output. It can definitely be elaborated/expanded.

The Sweater - A Short Story

The Sweater

He wasn't wearing his sweater this time, and it scared him. So, he put on a plastic smile and wore it until it felt natural. Then he smiled all day, and if every passerby did indeed  glance at his smiling face, he did in fact look happy, and he made them smile. He made them feel happy, for that moment, until they found something else to feel. He thought he knew what happiness felt like, because he acted out what happiness looked like.

Usually, on a typical day, he gets dressed, thinks on what he has to do for the day, and heads out determined to do everything on the top portion of his list. The top portion is the no-excuses no exceptions part of the list; the part that will demand to be heard, and become louder the longer it takes, thumping in his chest until he is sure everyone can hear it's noisy push against his skin. Therefore, today is not a typical day.

Now today would have been a day just like any other, except for he forgot his sweater. He thinks somehow he might have done it on purpose, and that is infuriating, because he expects more of himself. Not to mention, when he wears that sweater, he is the same person he is everyday, in just the same way that the sweater stays the same.

His sweater means he's dressed. When he's dressed, he's ready; when he's ready, he looks as ready looks: he is calm, collected, reserved, full of ideas, and he is certain everyone sees him just as he sees himself. Everyone needs to see him as complete. So, he is sure they do.

What happens today requires him to look at what he's wearing; what happens today means he isn't himself. It means, that he doesn't know who he is. If he isn't himself, who is he? Can he be someone else? Who should he be? Are there rules?

As soon as the train stops, he walks down the steps and heads towards the north end of the terminal, and then up the stairs. He climbs them, one by one, slowly as if he is incapable of increasing his speed because he is made that way. He believes he's made that way, so he is. Plus, the stairs make him tired; they make everyone tired.

Because his sweater defines him, he is lost without it. He has been so busy being who he the person who wore the sweater would, and in fact, should be. He defined himself and by simply believing it, he convinced everyone else that's who he was, because he just seemed so sure that's who he is.

He gets to the top, and exits the station at street level. There, right there, before his office, is a consignment shop. This shop he's never seen before, because he usually counts the steps to work, not because he secretly dreads every last step. If he dreaded every last step, he wouldn't be there. Since he is there, then he must not count steps from dread, but because he is concerned that he walks the same pace everyday, that he isn't getting older, and in fact slower. That must be why he counts steps. He likes to be prompt; he likes to keep the same pace, never slow down.

So, he stops at this shop, and he looks for a sweater, just like his own. It needs to be brown, with light stitching down the elbows, and with little elbow pads for resting his arms on table when he's so thoroughly interested in the conversation that he feels he might need to relax and lean towards the speaker as if to say, tell me more. He doesn't lean because he's tired, because if he were that tired, any more tired than the next guy, he'd get more sleep. He doesn't sleep more, so he reasons that he must not really be all that tired.

This ridiculous store, with its clerks, just isn't prepared for a real business executive, a real hard worker; they don't understand he needs this sweater. What did she say, that there's a dark blue one? Okay, he'll take it. Putting his arms in the sleeves as he goes, he walks briskly towards his office.

Then something strange happens. He's so busy putting on this sweater that he forgets to smile. Someone bumps into him, and then they spill coffee on his sweater. This someone says they're sorry, and some small talk comes out of their mouth, and he must go to work without a sweater. Men without sweaters are not ready. They don't know what to expect. He knows this because his father was always prepared and knew what to expect, and his father wore a sweater. His father always got what he expected.

As he arrives, he walks through the front lobby, and lo and behold, an unexpected thing happens yet again. This woman, she wants to know where he got his shirt. The front desk clerk, she's worked there all along? He's surprised he hasn't noticed her before. She says she thinks men who are confident enough to wear soft colors are quite the men. Is he quite the man? He's always just though he was a man, the way a man is, and that was good enough. Today, he's thinking maybe a man can be an exceptional man, if they knew to expect it.

Maybe she's right; maybe sweaters are collected, and not quite anything but sweaters. Could he have been quite the man in the sweater? He's not sure, but he'll see who he is today, without his sweater. Maybe he will have to, as they say, "play it by ear."

He takes the stairs, and he climbs them, two by two. He begins to almost race up them, and he then his breath catches in his throat. He feels his heart thumping, and it scares him just slightly. Then he realizes, that feeling seems like the one that he has when he's working on his list, but he forgot his list. It's in his sweater. That feeling is because of thrill, not fright. So, he keeps going, til he gets to the top. He didn't even know he could get to the top, without stopping. He's amazed that he doesn't know what to expect, and it's fun.

Where did  the day go? It's closing time, and he must send the last email that contains his reports, his numbers, his conservative estimates and projections. Then, right before he sends it, something different happens. He signs his name as usual, and for some reason, he adds that even though his projections are most probable and most likely to happen, there is the possibility that if they expect more tomorrow, maybe more is possible. So, they will work for more; tomorrow, he says, " let's keep the options open."

He gets on the train, just as he's used to, and heads home, but this time, he's ready for anything. Maybe tomorrow can be different, if he is different. What if he isn't only the man who wears the sweater? What if believing men who wear sweaters need to be conservative made him conservative, because he acted that way, and thus everyone treated him that way, and he felt like that person. Until today, he thought he was that person, so he acted like it. What if...he forgets his sweater tomorrow?

(Written originally sometime in 2010. As usual, maybe I'll clean it up later. ;-p)

Silly Dinosaur Might I Be (Musing) (please edit by commenting! Disjointed so far.)

I've been called an old soul.

I've been caught calm in situations where I should be alarmed. I've walked with strangers and plunged into oceans and bottles alike. Maybe just once or twice. 

Let me explain.

I'm 21, and headed to a party, of volleyball women hosting, and men shorter and posing. The only thing for which I was unprepared, was that I suddenly had little man complex, come out of nowhere.

I arrive to this party, cute as 21 can be, with my eyes robed in color as curtains, and my hair done naturally. I'm wearing leather pants, and a purple crop top. I'm accompanied by my male buddies, who before getting me, made only one stop.

They grabbed a 1/5th of something toasty, and headed out to get me. We arrive, them holding my hands, and ready to party. I head in first, followed by my friends. However, the problem I fast realize is that I feel short, and for this I'm not happy. I'm looking up to everyone I see.

My boyfriend, he looks at me, and he knows it's time to go. When I was younger, I used to think that maybe I could break my legs a couple of times, just so that I could grow taller, and look more the part of the athletic side that was me. We head out the door. Hand me that bottle, I say, I'm thirsty.

I gave up that dream of tallness and grace; when I realized I wouldn't heal completely by breaking my bones, it's not practical, and long-distance runners are smaller in stature and not tall, generally.

Suddenly, Im 28, and I've just moved to LA. I'm starting over after moving from Palm Desert, quite spontaneously. 

Now real quickly, here's a synopsis of 3 years, living life silly. In the meantime, I've never been seriously hurt, or concerned for my safety, and I don't watch t.v. What kind of world did I live in where I don't watch t.v.? Because I'm not ruled by what I'm 'supposed to be', and upon hearing I don't participate in strip-clubs or drugs, I'm made out to be a dinosaur, by whomever I meet. I'm an old-fashioned girl who dresses quite fashionably. I move about in a word, where I live eyes closed to danger, and do so happily.

I drift around LA, looking for fun. I'm in front of a restaurant, staring aimlessly, contemplating if this is the place to be. A limo drives up, crazy enough, and asks me where I'm going. He asks me, 'do you need help? Where are you trying to go?" I say I'm new to Los Angeles and I have no idea what to do. He graciously offers me a ride to the Standard Hotel, where he says, no charge, he'll take me, and get me in so that I can see. It's the hippest place in LA, and for a girl like me, it's the place to be.

I go, with the limo driver, who takes me on an adventure, to play at place I've never been. He pulls over, talks to the gatekeepers, and they place a band on my arm, and lead me to the party. It's an amazing party, and I notice everyone's dressed up, in contrast to me.  I'm wearing jeans, a nice sweater, and Diesel  "tennies". 

Wow! How exciting!

A couple hours later I'm walking into mid-downtown to find my car, wherever it may be. I have to check the meter, and then decide how to find the next amazing thing I might see. As I hop out of my car, I'm greeted by two rather proper guys my age, who ask me where I'm going. I say that I actually have no idea, and they invite me to a birthday party, invite only, at the Edison. I say, why not, and skip my way with them to this party. It's a blast! I see fairies and hear of absinthe, and many things that are new to me. Then they offer for me to come to Pasadena and they can drive me to get my car in the morning. I actually go, and my suitor, he's a  perfect gentlemen, while I get a perfect night's sleep! On his wall are action figures, shape-shifters, and fantasies. Oh, and he does bring me back in the morning. Then, upon arriving to my temporary home, my very good friend is worried for me. He's both amazed at my fearlessness and yet warns me. Be careful out there. You live like nothing bad's ever happened, and while it may be okay right now, it's probably because, well you're quite innocent and they can see. You're lucky, that you get away safely, all while being quite silly.

I once was a silly dinosaur. So now, what might I be?

I'm not a Cat. Are you a Cat? (Musing)

Musing about felines.

They say cats are like dogs. No, that's not what they say.

Cat's are finicky. Cats are particular about who they like. The plural they, walking amongst others they may or may not know, ready to strike if they like.

The cats, they like when you feed them, and they might like when you pet them, today. They might also scratch you if you pet them on a day they don't like to be pet. They also (generally speaking, mind you), are quite indifferent towards you, when you don't do what they like. If that cat was bigger, it would eat you, rather than waiting to be fed.

They say cats are like women, or women are like cats.

I know dogs operate differently.

They like you if you're nice. They're loyal if they have reason to be.

Sometimes they like everyone who comes by, because that's just who they are.

They're pretty stable as far as mood, unless you really push their buttons (yea, the big red button in plain sight!).

They say women are cats, and men are dogs.

Who's they?

I'm not a cat.

Are you a cat? If you want to, you can make friends with dogs.

What kind of cat are you?

I'm not a cat.

Does this invariably make me a dog?

Are people animals, and are genders that easily defined?

I think not.

Although, I don't understand cats, and I love my pup!

I'm not a cat person, but if you're a cat, you can change my mind.

Discipleship

What is discipleship?

Is it following a leader in whose teachings you believe or with which you are in agreement? Is it emulating the leader of whom you are the disciple?  What does emulating their ways, their actions, their way of thinking look like?

If you emulate a leader, then you aim to think like that leader, as if you were them, moving the way they moved, as if it were you that believed what they do (it would be you believing). Wouldn't you then believe what they say, since you would (ideally) say the same? Would you repeat the words and have the mindset of a leader who is misguided, misleads others, speaks untruths, and has a god-complex? Hopefully not.

I think what this means is that an individual has one choice, whether to believe, when it comes to Jesus in particular. If he's a great leader, a visionary, a good man; if one leaves it at that, and concludes he's not the son of God (one in purpose, thus one in mindset; God & his will in fleshly form, with and of his purpose), then he must be a false teacher or witness. If he claims he is essentially one with God (because he lives his purpose and he has his mindset - he emulates his essence), and if it's not true, then there's no point in believing the other things he says. Why choose to believe parts of what a liar teaches?

Jesus was a great leader, a compassionate man, and an amazing & pure example of how to love; he lived life showing us how to love others, and how to live life while honoring God. Even those scholars who don't believe in Jesus as more than a man, and/or don't believe in God (or they aren't sure), they believe in Jesus' legitimate existence based in historical fact. This is because Jesus, like all other historical figures, leaves behind witnesses and places that fit into the timeline he was there. This is the same as others who's lives are recorded.

So, because he existed, then I think it's worth examining what he said, and deciding whether he lives a good life, one of an honest person. Whether the fruit that he bore was good, and according to his teachings. I think it's worth deciding, whether he's teaching truth or lies.

Then, if he's truthful, if one judges his life to be good and noble, then what did he say?
If we believe what he said, and how he lived to be good, and we want to live like him, then we must also learn to think like him. This brings us to a place, where we examine ourselves, what we believe, what we want to believe, and what inevitably we must believe if we believe him.

If we decide his life is worth following, and his attitude worth emulating, then we are his disciples. Teaching his ways is part of discipleship; living his life is part of being his discipleship.

Discipleship today looks like a person living a life that looks the life Jesus would live in todays world. I don't know many of us who can do that every day. But I do know it's worth doing our best, and aspiring to it. I do know that being his disciple means standing out, being different, and realizing that he offers simply a better way of doing things. He does this in a way that welcomes others, doesn't alienate them, gently corrects and shows what's good and better. He does this not by beating others down, or telling them they're bad, but by being different and living different, and inviting them to join him.

Discipleship is living in today's world, and doing it differently. Loving others, and never stopping.

Family is for fun, and friends are forever.

Maybe it's not true, but it'd be an interesting approach. What if we treated our family (and closest friends) like we didn't necessarily just expect them to be there forever? What if we treated our friends or our acquaintances like they mattered; like they weren't just convenient or only good for fun. What if...when we related to our families, engaging with them just for fun, it changed the dynamic?

Try it out on a stranger. It might be easier, safer, when no one you know is watching. When you're not as vulnerable to the feelings that a close one can bring out, upon their impending rejection of you (or your thoughts or ideas).

Wait for someone to walk by, and then say hello. Now say hello, to the next person, and the next, until you count 20 people. Did it change you, even for a minute? (You thought it would be about their reaction, didn't you?) What did it do for you, inside you?

The next task might be only for those a bit more brave. Come on, you're brave!
Stand in the same place, or pick somewhere new. It doesn't matter. Tell people to have a wonderful day. Smile at them. Keep smiling, even if they look at you funny. Do that with 20 people again.

How do you feel?
Experience your feelings.
Think about them, and where your confidence comes from, or where it is not present.
Would only their responses change your feelings, or can you change them, by perceiving things differently. Think about the different thoughts you might have, or prejudgments, about why someone might be saying hello to you, if the roles were reversed, If you were the passerby.

Lastly, pick a place to sit; a public place.
Talk to one random person. Say hello. Ask them how they are. Find something nice to say, something encouraging or complimentary (if it's true).
Take note of how they react. Take note of how you react.

Go home (or to your immediate family member's home). Ask them how they are. Say hello. Say something encouraging. Show up just to have fun. Go somewhere. Listen. Laugh. Treat them like friends. Maybe they'll be fun.

Go to your friends. Pick a few, with good hearts; maybe ones you haven't been close to, but have fun with. Tell them they matter. Ask how they are. Find something nice to say. Maybe they'll be family forever.

Go to a stranger. Ask them how they are. Tell them they're worth something. Find something nice to say. (Rescue Missions, Retirement Homes, Orphanages, Cancer Hospitals - these are great places to find these people.) Maybe these people will become friends.
(*Caveat: sometimes this invites insult or injury. Don't let a few bad seeds get you to throw away the whole fruit.)

How are you feeling? I hope we can become friends. I know you're worth something, and I hope you have people who tell you so. If not, start with telling them. Sometimes breaking the ice is the hardest thing.

Good luck!!!!

I'm late, I'm sorry, and I'm sorry I'm late.

Life is full of expectations, and I'm one of my biggest expectants. I expect myself to deliver the goods, get the 'stuff' done, and to do it happily. I have hopes for doing it on time, even though it'd be a miracle to not get behind, or even to get everything on this list done today (at least in the time allotted). Somewhere between this and that; somewhere between stopping to say hello (and staying an extra hour just to add a smile to someone's day), and getting to the gym, came an opportunity to stop by and grab that certain lovely thing that is finally on sale! Oh, and I've been waiting for what,  ever(?!) to stop by the farmers market, and there it is. Trying to fit in that extra small task somewhere after getting my career work done, working out, making dinner, phoning a friend a need, working on my individual business goals, and getting some writing done. Then ultimately, I'm saying sorry to myself for one of the chores that must be prioritized for another day. Or I'm sorry I just couldn't do it that happily.

Sorry. Sometimes, I'm know it's late, but I'm happy just for getting it done. Some other times,  I'm just saying sorry, that in fact I am late.

Is this really a problem, if I know that in order to get as much done as I can, that sometimes I'm late (with my tasks that don't fall into the work realm)? Or does it really mean I try to fit too many things into a day? I don't even have kiddos yet, and I can only imagine that I may have to divide my list up across the days in order to make it happen; the kids might not really be happy if I'm often times late.

This blog is late (according to my own expectation of what my frequency in publishing would be), but guess what; it's late and I'm still doing it.

I think that sometimes, you have to take what you can give. You have to give what you have.

While it's beneficial to practice making realistic goals, sometimes the greatest things happen when you're not realistic; when you're a dreamer! As long as I'm not too busy being sorry, why not try for as much as my day can handle (knowing my limits, and not expecting the impossible, but hoping for it!)? Why not make two lists, one that has time constraints (business or professionally related), to fit in today, and one that belongs to tomorrow. Or the Hope List?! Then I can aim for the best, and Hope for the rest!

Practically speaking, I will admit, I've divided my days into musts, and should, and can. I have my list. But don't think I'm not aiming for more than today! I encourage all of you to make your lists, and prioritize them, and then aim for more (within reason).

I have so may things on this list. Things I need to get done. Things I really want to get done, and things I know may take me longer than I wish. But, I have goals, and I'm plugging away one by one. I have my check boxes, but sometimes they're dashes. I know that I can write this contract, and set up the review in two weeks. I know I can write this blog entry and leave it in draft. I know I can even publish the draft before I come back to edit. Because for me, getting it written is half my goal, and it's one part of it off my list. The writing is the must. The editing is a nice to have. :)

At the least, I'm emptying the page, because there's some big stuff on this continuing page! It's not just tasks, it's bigger goals broken into mini-goals, and even bigger goals than that! I think the process of writing it down, building the plan, and managing your time (for the most part [wink]), gets you used to the process and prepared for the work. Each time you accomplish the mini goals, you come closer and more practiced.
Each time I get something done, I have one item less, and am one item closer to my bigger list. If you haven't yet, try it!

Maybe one day, I won't be sorry, nor will I be late. Instead of saying I'm sorry that I'm late, I'll just be...happy and on time. That's a goal for a later date! For now, I'm happy with -  happy I'm complete. :)

Caress you. Caress me.

with words of love and wisdom
at least that's how it's supposed to be


we're brought together here
to help each other thrive
yet when we think to get ahead
empathy takes a nose-dive

when did it become a race
to see if we can win
making sure others fail is futile
yet humanity does is again and again

pick a foe and pick a winner
you're bound to pick one side
but what happens when we pick both
could we allow everyone to thrive

why does being successful
mean hurting someone else
why must another have to fall
to rise above one's self

i'm just a girl with notions
of rising to my unique 'top'
and while i do so quietly
i'll make sure to stop

stop to help another rise with me
i'll push the limit with indignity
to help two of us together find
the wealth of dreams that is infinity

i say they're wrong
there is glory in helping, says me
so if helping is a criminal act
let us be made villains happily

if caressing means passing on words
or helping with one's hands
i caress you;  you caress me
and the world misunderstands

they misunderstand: that happiness isn't only found
in pursuing it for oneself
it can also be discovered when
you see it form on the face of someone else.


(TBD on editing until later. although, so are the rest of these blogs. i know it's rough, but better than none?? okay, that's debatable. anyway - it is what it is, and probably, again, what it's not.)